Yiziphi izici umshado ophumelelayo?
Ngokusho kweBhayibheli, uMoya oNgcwele uguqula izinhliziyo zethu futhi ulethe umusa ngokushesha nje lapho sisindiswa. Inkosikazi esencane iqhubekile yathi, "Kuyasiza ukukhumbula ukuthi niseqenjini elilodwa. Awufuni umlingani wakho 'aphumelele' ukungaboni ngaso linye ngoba lokho kungadinga ukuba nihlulwe. Kufanele nilwele umshado wenu njengeqembu. hhayi njengokuthi "wena ngokumelene nabo." KWENZEKANI UMA OKUJWAYELEKILE UKUXHUMANA EMSHADWENI USHINTSHA EKUHLUKUMEZENI KOBUDLELWANO? INSELELE YOBUKRESTU. Ababili besithathu bahlanganyela, bathi, "Yabelanani ngokuthandayo." "Funda kabanzi ngento uma ungayithandi kodwa omunye umuntu eyithanda. Ungagcina usuyithanda phela. Konke okwashiwo wonke umuntu kwakumnandi. Amazwi angagwegwesi aqinisekisa engangikufundile mayelana nokwaneliseka emshadweni, okungukuthi ububele bubopha imibhangqwana. Ukuba nomusa kubalulekile ukuze umshado ujabule. Ungase ukholelwe ukuthi kunezinye izici ezihilelekile emshadweni ophumelelayo. Mhlawumbe ukuxhumana okusebenzayo noma ukuhambisana kwezocansi. noma ungabi nezinkinga nabasemzini noma nemali. Umqondo wokupha, noma ukwazisa izinhloso zomlingani wakho, noma ngabe ukubulawa kungatshazwa, kubalulekile, ngokusho kwezifundo. Ngamunye wabo ubalulekile, kunjalo. Kodwa umusa uyisici esibaluleke kakhulu ekubikezeleni ukuzinza nokwaneliseka komshado isikhathi eside. Umusa ubalulekile. Ukwengeza, kudlula ukumane ulethe umlingani wakho inkomishi yekhofi ekuseni (nakuba abacwaningi beNational Marriage Project begcizelela kakhulu ukuthinta okuncane kothando okunjalo). Umqondo wokupha, noma ukwazisa izinhloso zomlingani wakho noma ngabe ukubulawa kungatshazwa, kubalulekile, ngokusho kwezifundo. Ngokwesibonelo, kungenzeka ukuthi umyeni wakho umane akhohlwe ukwehlisa isihlalo sendlu yangasese futhi akazange “ngamabomu” azame ukukucasula. Umkakho angase angabi “ngamabomu” ephuze ukudla kwakusihlwa. Mhlawumbe ubedinga nje ukuya esitolo ukuyolanda isipho sakho. Ngizoqhubeka ngivume ukuthi angizenzanga lezo zibonelo (njengomuntu ovame ukugcina umngane wakhe womshado elindile kodwa angaveli nesipho. Omunye wochwepheshe bezengqondo "Yelebhu Yothando" unginike zona.) Indaba yomusa iwukuthi akuyona into esinayo noma esingenayo. Nokho, uyawuthola umqondo. Kunokuba ugxile emaphutheni oshade naye, funa izinto ongazithanda futhi ubonise ukubonga. Inhlonipho kufanele ihlale iboniswa ngokuqaphela. Njengoba iBhayibheli leluleka, phatha umlingani wakho ngokuthobeka futhi ubeke izidingo zakhe ngaphambi kwezakho. Nokho, kuthiwani uma ngingeyena umuhle kangako? Ngiyazi ukuthi mhlawumbe abanye benu bacabangani. Lapho ngifunda ucwaningo, ngaba nokusabela okufanayo. Ngazitshela ukuthi, "Ngifuna ngempela ukuba mnene ku-Robbie. Nokho, angihloniphi kangako.
Kuyiqiniso. Umyeni wami ungicabangela kakhulu futhi unomusa kunami, kimi nakwabanye abantu. Ngingase ngisenzele abangani, kodwa uRobbie nguye obagcinayo, njengoba ngiye ngasho njalo. Nokho, into ngomusa ukuthi akuyona into esinayo noma esingenayo. Ngokusho kweBhayibheli, uMoya oNgcwele uguqula izinhliziyo zethu futhi ulethe umusa ngokushesha nje lapho sisindiswa. UPawulu uthi “uthando, nokujabula, nokuthula, nokubekezela, nobubele, nobuvi, nokukholeka, nobumnene, nokuzithiba” kuyizici zikaMoya oNgcwele. Zonke lezi ezinye izimfanelo uNkulunkulu asinike zona, kuhlanganise nomusa, nazo zisezandleni zethu. Indaba yakamuva ye-Wall Street Journal ithi umthandazo ungasebenza noma ngabe oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani benza isihluku. Isebenza njengesisipha futhi iba namandla ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umthandazo uwenza uqine. Okuletha nolunye ucwaningo oluthakazelisayo ngomshado. Indaba yakamuva ye-Wall Street Journal ithi umthandazo ungasebenza noma ngabe oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani benza isihluku. Bobabili abalingani—othandazelayo nalowo othandazelwayo—babika ukwaneliseka okukhulu kobudlelwane lapho abantu bethandazela inhlalakahle yabashade nabo lapho bezwa imizwa engemihle emshadweni.” "Waneliseke kakhulu ngobudlelwano." Lokho kubonakala kusemthethweni futhi kubalulekile ngempela. Kodwa singakusho kanjani okusobala? Ungamthukutheli owakwakho uma ungajabulile ngoba wenze into efana nokushiya isihlalo sangasese sihleli noma bephuzile futhi. Kunalokho, cabangela ukubathandazela. Nobabili nizojabula kakhulu ngenxa yalokho. Nkulunkulu Baba, Masiphathane ngomusa nesihawu, sithethelelane njengalokhu uKristu asithethelela. ( Efesu 4:32 ).